Trust God?

How do you have a relationship with the Creator of the Universe? How can He be small enough to really care what my favorite color is when He created all of the colors? How do you wrap your head and heart around the reality that He really does want to know everything about you? The part that is so weird about this relationship is that He already knows everything about you. I think this is what makes it so bizarre.

Mike's blog reminded me that I needed to post what has been going on with me spiritually in the last few weeks. My current struggle is not doubting that God is. I believe with every ounce of my being that God is alive and at work actively in my life and yours. I believe that my soul would be empty without Him and my life unfulfilled without him. I know that I need Him in my life and I would die without Him. BUT...(there's always a but)how in the world do you have a relationship with Him? I don't know how to do it. With that lack of understanding, it has made my having a relationship with Him difficult. I don't know how to do it. All I have to compare it to is a human relationship and it just isn't the same. How can I trust that He is faithful to His promises to prosper me and not to harm me when I don't know how to talk to him? How can I trust Him when most people let me down or I let them down? I can't wrap my head around all of it. I know that if I am not making choices every day, EVERY DAY, to invest in a relationship with Him, I will never get there. I want my cake and to be able to eat it too. I want it to be easy but is any relationship worth having easy? I know my life can be more than it is but it's all up to me. It is my lack of work that has gotten me here and made me frustrated. It is my unfaithfulness. How can I truly feel comfortable giving up control of my life to the God I don't feel like I know and trust? So, each day, I am letting God of the hook and taking responsibility for where I am. I am working to understand how to have a relationship, an open and honest relationship with God. I think He wants me to say that this is where I am. I think He wants me to be honest with Him and with myself. As I invest in this relationship, I pray that it will be easier to give more and more control over to God. I want Him to rule over my life, I want to trust Him with everything. It is hard to give over control and trust to an acquaintance. I wouldn't do it with a person and I can't do it with God, but I will. I will get there. I will let go, I will trust Him. I will know Him in a very real and intimate way. I will trust Him with every aspect of my life and every nook and cranny of my heart, my innermost secrets, my hurts, my desires, my joys, victories. It will happen...