Vacation

Yesterday began a long needed vacation from the office. I don't go back until the 2nd of January.

I do have to report for jury duty on the 3rd, but here's to hoping that I have nothing to offer and will promptly be dismissed. Several people have said that I should sit on a jury because it can be rather fascinating, but my luck would be sitting on some case involving the dullest topic and people of all time.

I'm sure that the next few days will involve reflecting on the year that I've had and what I would like to do with the year to come. Perhaps I will post some of those thoughts here.

I will definately be reading. There are about 4 books I would like to get finished by the end of the year - perhaps I'm being overly optimistic.

I will definately be watching movies. I just picked up Bourne Ultimatum, The Death of the President and Once. I also have endless OnDemand movies, thanks to my bunking with ma and pa! I'm sure there are several I would like to check out (Notes on a Scandal just released OnDemand and I will be watching it again!). I also think some cheesy Christmas movies are necessary over the next couple of days.

I have been trying to keep track of all of the books I have read this year and all of the films I have watched. I know that my movie list is longer. I can say that my first new year's resolution will be to have my movie and book lists be more equal.

I was nominated by a co-worker to review some christian women's books for a christian newspaper. We'll see if I am chosen. This could be really cool, or really awful. Maybe this will be my first chance to be "published" somewhere...one of my life goals.

I have been baking all day for church tomorrow. I'm tired! I don't know how women do this all of the time. :) I made lots of treats and am excited to share them with people I love.

Here's to a few days off! If I don't see you, have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! I pray God's blessings as you travel or stay home - seeing family and friends! May God bless you abundantly in the New Year.

May we see peace on earth!

Cool Blog Find

I just found a really fun blog for me and added it to my list of blogs I read because I love me a to-do list (I am being too lazy right now to add a link in here for you).

I don't know about any of you but I really enjoy a list of things that I need to get done. There are days when it feels dauting and that I will never get it all done but then the joy I find in crossing things off of my list is incomparable! I even include the most ridiculous goals and "wish list" ideas - especially for work, the things I really, really, really wish I could do in my job that I think would just be cool, but know that the likelihood of it happening is pretty slim. I include them so I don't forget the idea and because you never know!

I am excited to check out the To Do List blog in hopes of finding inspiration and maybe some other weirdos who enjoy them a list.

Time Management

Is there a way to make more time in a day?

No matter how organized I try to be, I can't get everything done. I leave the office thinking "What did I do today? I know I've been busy but I don't think I got anything done on my list!"

Disclaimer: I did just have a Mika dance party in my office with 5 students squished in here....maybe this has something to do with it. :) But having fun with students from time to time is also an important part of the job.

And then as that was done and I was moving back to work, I had a student come in who needed to complete his US Census questionnaire and was having difficulty figuring it out. So I got off track again.

Someday, just for fun, I will give you a play by play of a day at the office. Just for kicks!

What up, homes?

I promise I didn't die - not that anyone reads this anymore!

I have been so busy this year. The semester is flying by and I feel like I am getting left in the dust!!!!! My days at the office are passing too quickly. I don't feel like I'm getting an adequate amount of work done in a day. We've had quite a bit of behavioral issues this year to address.

Life has been happening around me and it's mostly been good. I have participated in two book clubs this month. I read "They Like Jesus But Not The Church" by Dan Kimball with several people from my church. I also recently joined a book club that will be more permanent and we read "Stormy Weather" by Paulette Jiles. I was chosen to select the next book and I'm having some trouble figuring out which book to choose. There are so many I want to read - how do I pick one? I've been spending a lot of my free time reading and I'm really enjoying it! I know most people would agree that one feels more relaxed after unwinding in the evening with a book rather than vegging out in front of the telly all night.

I've gone to the art museum, the opera, out of town to visit friends. Life has been good since last I wrote. I am taking a class on finances with some friends which I'm hoping changes the way I think about money. So far, I've already made significant changes and am proud of my choices. The church family has been struggling. We have lost quite a few members in our current state of transition. I have had some hurt feelings and I am trying to work on healing those hurts and forgiving the friends who have decided to move on.

I am happy to say that I am engaging in my life. It may sound silly to some but it's something I've had to work on over the course of the last year or so. I have realized that it's been easy for me to be a passive participant and let life happen around me. It's something that I struggle with. I am trying to look for ways to not watch life pass me by!

Craziness

Let the insanity officially begin. Soccer and volleyball players moved in this weekend. It's beginning...the madness...

I have this week to get everything organized for Orientation Week which begins on Friday with a staff meeting for all of my student workers - who basically do my bidding for a week and get a free trip to the coast out of it. I will now be working 19 days in a row - as are many people aroung campus. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be a martyr here, just sharing part of life that is this time of year. Somewhere in there I will be celebrating my 31st birthday. I have a feeling it will be a bit of a let down after last year's soiree!

Say some prayers for all of us getting our students here and settled. I know that there will be days that I will want to explode, sleep, cry, quit and punch everyone in the face...I can do the exhausted and the crying but I can't explode, quit or punch anyone in the face.

I'll see you on the flip side.

Generation Me

I finished Generation Me a couple of weeks ago. The author is a generational psychologist and professor as well as a GenMe'er. The book gave me insight into some of my own tendencies and was very helpful in understanding the students I encounter on a daily basis. If you would like a good read on understanding people born from 1970-2000, I recommend this book. I want everyone to read it: those of us that fall in the category, people I work with, our parents, EVERYONE! She is funny and smart. Great book.

WARNING: If you're a big proponent of the "self-esteem movement" I don't think you're going to like this book. I do think you should still read it because she makes some fantastic points about the damage we're doing to children when we're more concerned about them feeling good over learning, behaving appropriately, and taking responsibility for their actions.

life updated

As the end of a very hectic work week quickly approaches I am sitting at my desk eating lunch thinking how to update my fearless readers on the happenings of my life.

I've not been sure of whether or not it was time for me to move on from my current employment situation for a year or so. I love what I do most days. I consider myself to be blessed to have found work that I'm excited about, enjoy doing it and think I'm pretty good at( I say all of this to say that I have good days and bad days at work like everyone). I recognize that not everyone is afforded this luxury. I know plenty of people who have to work jobs they don't enjoy but need to pay bills. I digress.

I've been uncertain of the direction to take my career development. This summer I applied for three different positions at three different universities, two in Seattle and one in Texas. After a long summer of uncertainty, I was offered a position at the university in Texas - just last week. They wanted me to be in Texas by next weekend. After time of weighing my options I decided that it was best for me to decline the offer at this time. I struggled with this decision because along with a great opportunity for work was an opportunity for grad school. I would have been able to get the degree in Student Affairs in Higher Ed at a greatly reduced price. So, it was hard to say no but I didn't feel like I could get myself to Texas at the time requested and I didn't feel like it would be very fair to my current employer to leave during this time of year (I'm in charge of our new student orientation program that begins in 2 weeks).

After a long, anxiety- filled summer, I am at peace with staying where I am for now. There are some really exciting possibilities here for me. I am going to pursue a graduate program - you can all pray that I get accepted to one and that I will find the funding to finance the education. I will update you when I know more about what my position may look like here. Today I'm officially changing my mood on the sidebar to peaceful.

On that note, I need to go back to work because it's crazy around here. Making housing assignments has not gone smoothly this year. AT ALL!

On a much lighter note than my previous one turned out to be: Big Brother is back!!! Good summertime fun! I love the opportunity this gives me to hang out with some girlfriends and escape the real world for a few hours each week. Yesterday was Breanna's birthday so we got together for cheesecake and Big Brother. What else could a girl want? It has been nice seeing Breanna. I think it was last summer when we last hung out for any great length of time. See, reality TV can bring people together!!! :)

Happy Friday!

JASON IS MY HERO!!!!

So, I think I broke my template. I can't add a title to any new posts. What have I done? I do like that I found ways to change up my template a wee bit. I'll keep messing with and perhaps I will find a way to get titles back. We'll see.

I just finished Barack Obama's book and it was good. It wasn't until the epilogue that his readers find where the title of the book comes from:

"It wasn't just the struggles of these men and women that had moved me. Rather, it was their determination, their self-reliance, a relentless optimism in the face of hardship. It brought to mind a phrase that my pastor, Rev. Jeremiah A. Wright, Jr., had once used in a sermon.

The audacity of hope.

That was the best of the American spirit, I thought - having the audacity to believe despite all the evidence to the contrary that we could restore a sense of community to a nation torn by conflict; the gall to believe that despite personal setbacks, the loss of a job or an illness in the family or a childhood mired in poverty; we had some control - and therefore responsibility- over our own fate.

It was that audacity, I thought, that joined us as one people. It was that pervasive spirit of hope that tied my own family's story to the larger American story, and my own story to those of the voters I represent."

I dare to take it one step further. The audacity of hope to me suggests that each American, dare I say human, has the responsibility to all humankind to restore a sense of community in the world, despite our differences. All of humankind should live life recognizing that we are more alike than we are different.

tricky, very tricky

I'm in a really weird place. I don't know how to formulate my thoughts and don't know what to say. Maybe sooner than later I will be able to put some thoughts together to share. I have thoughts about faith, the world, my future...everything. Until then, I thought I'd say hello to the four of you who read this. HI!

I can tell you that I just finished reading Dead Man Walking by Sister Helen Prejean. What a phenomenal book! I have been processing how I view capital punishment. I think I always thought capital punishment didn't make sense but reading this text gave me words and reasons why I cannot support it. (This is one of the many things going through my head right now and why I feel like I could be going crazy! I am overwhelmed by everything I have been ignorant to in the world and I'm beginning to pay attention and I can't process all of it.)

SO...I'm medicating with a combination of reality TV and food! This is how I numb the pain! This way I don't have to think about all of the things I should be thinking about and discussing with the blogosphere. I think maybe I'm having the breakdown now that I thought would happen last year with turning 30.

On Being Sick

Last night at home group our lesson was on peace. We read scripture about having peace and being at peace. It wasn't until we were almost done with our closing prayer that I thought:

"We haven't even discussed the turmoil going on in the world. Turmoil caused by others and turmoil caused by us."

We thanked God for giving us peace but we didn't even bother praying for those who are fighting in a war, those being murdered who just want to live their lives with a little dignity, or ask forgiveness for not paying attention to what is going on in the world.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. (Matt 5:9)

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. (Romans 12:18)

I want to vomit thinking about what we are doing in the world or not doing for that matter. I want to vomit because it seems that Lindsay Lohan's DUI is more important than murder and war. I am sad. I don't have all of the answers, I don't have a solution to the political agendas of either side of the issue. All I know is I am a Christ follower and I don't think he would be in Iraq right now. I take that back. I know he is there right now but I think we'll find him comforting those who have lost loved ones or weeping over the destruction. I'm fairly confident that he isn't driving a tank or torturing people to get information out of them. I don't say all of this in an effort to be unsupportive of the troops who are over there doing what they are told. We need to WAKE UP AMERICA and tell our representatives that this insanity has got to end! How can we justify what we're doing? THIS IS REAL...not a movie out of Hollywood. These are real people and real lives. Not only have 655,000 Iraqi's died but 3,728 coalition deaths have also occured. I am guilty of passivity. I can't do it any more. I refuse to do it any longer. I don't know how I am going to make a difference - I think this is what they want us to think- but I'm going to try. I also think about the crisis in Darfur, AIDS crisis in Africa, and poverty in America. I'm sick over everything going on in the world that hasn't mattered enough for me to stand up against it and cry out in disgust. Well I'm disgusted and the first place I am going to hang out is at the feet of God and ask him for forgiveness and then ask what I can do. He has heard my cry. He promises me this much.

But he took note of their distress when he heard their cry. (Psalm 106:44)

There is a lot of unsettled business in life right now. Things are a little strange at church - we are going through another transition. I'm finding it difficult to remain commited and enthusiastic about everything. I love everyone but it's hard to keep thinking positively.

I am in the process of figuring out some things that are exciting and promising opportunities for me. I will know more in the next few weeks but I would love for everyone to pray about these things for me. I will be happy to share more when I know more. I am thankful for new opportunities!

I am listening to Rick Atchley's sermon series on Heaven. It is AMAZING! Makes one excited about heaven rather than hopeful to avoid hell. A better way to live life. Gotta go listen!!!

Peace!

Bragging for a minute (or like 10 seconds)

I got an A in my stats class. I'm pretty proud of myself, if I do say so myself. :)

Sunshine

I am sitting at an internet cafe on the campus of Pepperdine University looking out at the ocean, not working. There's not much else to say. :)

Bivariate Statistics, Crosstabs

Does anyone want to do my stats quiz for me? Anyone, anyone? I promise it won't be fun.

Time Flies When You're Having...Fun?

Has it really been a month? I suppose so. What have I been doing? Let's see...

• Went to the opera on Thursday night. Saw Wagner's The Flying Dutchman. It was on the dull side. Depressing.
• Dropped off a bunch of students and three faculty members in Seattle for a class trip to the east coast. I stayed and hung out with Jean and her husband for the weekend.
• While in Seattle Jean and I went to a fashion show at Macy's hosted by Clinton Kelly from TLC's What Not To Wear. The fashion show was for us rounder ladies. He is ADORABLE! We had a good time.
• Spring break this week. QUIET at work. I got more done in one day than I get done in a typical week.
• Went to the dentist on Monday. Fun times.
• Saw Sarah Mac and several other college friends a couple of weekends ago. We hung out at Rici's and had a blast. It was fun to see everyone. There seems to be a common theme among young adults: our lives aren't nearly as glamorous as we'd hoped for. We're all getting a wee bit boring in our older age (older age being in comparison to college). Some are busy being married and having babies. Some of us are not married but don't have very exciting lives. It was fun to love on each other and remind one another that we are still cool people. :)
• I've decided that being single would be a lot more fun if I had extra money to do the things that every married person says they would do if they were single. Like traveling. If I could fund the excersions, I would be traveling all over the world and taking weekend trips to nearby cities. Instead, I work for no money and end up at home depressed by my boring life. HELP! Anyone want to fund my trips?
• Thanks Sarah for the advice on Diva. I think I may be a convert.
• Went to dinner with mom on Monday night. I was still in the process of coming off the novocaine from the dentist so it was interesting trying to eat my dinner. We went to the new Macaroni Grill at Clackamas. Yum! It was nice to hang out with momma. We don't do it much because she works most evenings.
• I have to go back to Seattle on Friday to pick up the travelers. See you Friday, Jean!

Well, that's it for now. Not a super exciting life but I'm managing. March has flown by. Only one month until all the students depart. I'm ready. I am going to Pepperdine for the Lectureships this year. I'm excited! I've never been.

Hope for Tomorrow

Look to this day!
For it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course
Lie all the verities and realities of your existence.
The bliss of growth,
The glory of action,
The splendour of achievement
Are but experiences of time.
For yesterday is but a dream
And tomorrow is only a vision;
And today well-lived, makes
yesterday a dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well therefore to this day;
Such is the salutation to the ever-new dawn!
~Kalisada


A student brought this poem to me yesterday because she thought it was beautiful and she wanted to give me some encouragement (I really do have a pretty amazing job, for all of my grumblings) as I make life decisions and struggle making them. I'm not doing well with life right now. I want to pull my head under the blankets and avoid all decision-making necessities. Do I go to grad school? Do I stay at my job? Is this what I want to do long term? Is it a reality that I may never get married and have a family of my own? Can I find a way to be at peace with God about that reality, because I certainly don't want to be at peace with it? Do I pick up my life and move to Texas or stay in Portland? I mean, my family and friends are here. I feel comfortable and safe here but I'm not happy here, nothing feels like it's working. I'm not doing my job as well as I could be. I'm not living my life the way I should be. I'm disappointed in myself.

I was having dinner at a friend's house last night and we were watching an Oprah from a couple of weeks ago when they were discussing "The Secret". One thing that I took away to ask myself is if I feel like I truly deserve to be happy, to have the things in life that I want, deserve to be treated well (including treating myself well) and whether or not I deserve to be loved (including loving myself). These are important questions to ask. I can't say that my answer to these questions is yes. Here is my problem. I'm not convinced that I deserve these things. I mean if I respond quickly (and with the right answer) I would say yes but if I reflect and take time to think about it I can't say yes to these questions. I haven't been treating myself very well. I have not taken time to give thanks to God for all of the blessings that he has given me. In my selfishness, I have looked mainly at my flaws and misfortunes, which compared to most people in the world, my misfortunes are laughable. A lot of what the teachers of "The Secret" was more new agey than I am interested in but the principles got me thinking about how I treat myself and made me think about the things that God wants us to get about ourselves. One of the teachers said that Jesus taught that the "Kingdom of God is within us" which gives us the power to live a full life. Now, I don't remember reading that anywhere but I get the idea. I mean technically, the kingdom is within us because of the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. We have the power of change because we have God within us. He gives us the power. I am praying for a miracle and a change in my thinking. I need to be made over and renew my spirit. I'm tired of being tired. I've been working on my physical health and I thought taking these steps would help (and I think they have) but there is another piece to the puzzle that is missing. My spiritual health is weak at best and I can't continue functioning this way.

I covet your prayers. We all deserve the best life that we've been promised through Christ. Why am I not claiming this as mine too? I want others to claim it yet I forget to claim it daily for myself. This isn't how I was made to live.

Dr. Maya Angelou - In the Flesh

I had the pleasure of seeing, hearing, absorbing Dr. Maya Angelou last week with my friend Laketa (thanks to mom and dad for my Christmas present)! All I can say is that she is amazing and her two hours of speaking felt like 5 minutes (So I felt like I was shorted but I know she really did speak for two hours).

Dr. Angelou challenged us to think of the influence we each have. She suggested that our influence may be greater than we will ever realize. She told stories about her uncle who was crippled in a small town in Arkansas and his influence was felt across generations and in powerful places. She said that she runs into people, like the Mayor of Little Rock, or the State Senator who have been touched by the life of this man who would have never imagined this as a part of his story. We sell ourselves short too often. We need to have the courage to imagine the possibilities. Dr. Angelou challenged us to practice the virtue of courage because without courage, you cannot consistently practice any of the other virtues.

Good stuff...


The most fun part of the evening was going to the Heathman Hotel for coffee and dessert after and having Dr. Maya Angelou come in for dinner!!! Laketa tried to figure out a way to meet her. We are still arguing about this part of the evening because she got all crazy and weird. She says she would have been totally appropriate. I wanted us to leave her alone (because she shared stories about how she has had to stop traveling by airplane and train because people get all weird and start freaking out and poking her, etc). I thought Laketa was headed down that path. It was fun to see her in person up close, though. I am thankful that Laketa didn't orchestrate a "chance meeting".

Upcoming Interfaith Services

I have had a couple of requests to post the upcoming interfaith services after my last post on the prayer service for peace.

February:

Sunday, February 18th 4:00-5:30pm
Topic: How Do We as People of Faith Protect Our Earth for Future Generations?
Location: Soka Gakkai International, 1895 SE Ankeny, Portland

March:

Sunday, March 18th 4:00-5:30pm
Topic: How Do People of Faith Help Bring Peace to this World?
Location: First Unitarian Church, 1011 SW 12th, Portland

April:

Sunday, April 15th 4:00-5:30pm
Topic: How Do We as People of Faith Support Religious Tolerance?
Location: Congregation Neveh Shalom, 2900 Peaceful Lane, Portland

May:

Sunday, May 20th 4:00-6:00pm
Topic: How Do We as People of Faith Support Families?
Location: Muslim Education Trust, 10300 SW Scholls Ferry Rd, Tigard

Peace

Last night I went to an interfaith service for peace at a Lutheran church in Northeast Portland. I was blessed to hear the perspectives of many people from many different faith backgrounds. I sat on the pew and took in all they had to say. These people were all so gentle in spirit and had deep devotion to God and to humanity. Their perspectives were new and refreshing. While these faith leaders have fundamental differencesin their beliefs, they were able to share things and agree that what we are doing in Iraq and aroung the world is not noble nor honorable. These spiritual leaders prayed earnestly for the troops serving in war and for the people we are attaacking. They want healing and reconciliation. They want people of faith to stand up against violence.

I am still processing and may have more to share at a later time. In the meantime, I encourage anyone reading this to contact your Congressmen/women and let them know that you want the insanity of this war to end!

Snow Day

Today I am stuck at home because of the sudden onset of snow. I am already battling a cold so I'm thankful for a day of rest and a boss who said "Don't even bother trying to come in later, just stay home and get some rest". Ok, twist my arm.

I've been laying on the couch all morning watching the news, flipping through other channels and reading.

Today I'm glad that I don't work at home like my dad, because he is still working. :) No travel excuses for him. He is currently out taking a walk up to the grocery store so that we have some food for dinner. Yay dad!

Hopefully we will melt and all will be normal tomorrow.

Alrighty, back to the couch for reading and relaxing. I am glad that my throat is no longer on fire and I can swallow like a normal person. Simple pleasures people, simple pleasures.

Being LAZY

I had the pleasure of being out of the office for 11 days and I LOVED every last stinkin' minute of it. My week consisted of lots of movie watching, old TV show watching and book reading. When I say that I watched a lot of DVD's I don't think that I am actually portraying with much accuracy. When I think of it, I will have to get a list of all the things I watched during my week off.

Some that I do remember are:
*Kate & Allie (Season 1)
*24 (Season 4)
*Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
*Bewitched
*Millions
*Prozac Nation
*House of D
*Felicity Season 3 (first three discs)
*Brooklyn Lobster
*World Trade Center
*The Excorcism of Emily Rose
*Heavenly Creatures
*The Black Dahlia
*The Skeleton Key
*Mrs. Palfrey at the Claremont

I know, I know, it's a ridiculously long list of things to watch but it's not exhaustive and I don't get to this very often. I justify it all by saying that I also read (or completed) three books during this time. I FINALLY picked up Running With Scissors and finished reading it. I kept pushing it back to read other things. THanks for letting be borrow it Breanna! It was good and weird all at the same time. I've never read anything like it. I feel like the next guest on Oprah is going to be Augustun Burroughs (the author) calling him out for making up his stories like James Frey because how can this be real???!!!! I also finished a book related to work: College of the Overwhelmed, and the second volume of Maya Angelou's autobiography, Gather Together In My Name. There are still too many books to read in the amount of time that I have in a day! I am on a mission to get through as many volumes of Ms. Angelou's autobiography as possible before she comes to town in February. My brilliant parents got me tickets to see her for Christmas! I went to see her a couple of years ago with Jean and I loved every minute of it. I wanted to be sure and see her again.

My break was refreshing and restful. There haven't been many vacations where I really just did whatever I wanted. I loved every minute of it. Now, I am back at work scrambling and trying to get ready for the students coming back next week. I am always filled with mixed emotions when they come back. I want to see them but I like the quiet. Back to work I go.